This is Jake's 1st picture of our family. The initial meeting and getting along has taken a temporary nosedive. I am surprised that he doesn't have tears in Timmy's eyes or Timmy pushing him away from me or slapping at him. Instead of great jealousy on Jake's part, it is Timmy who does NOT want to share his mama. Whenever Jake jumps into my lap or gets close, Timmy starts to cry and push him. This has been tough on Jake who sadly noted that he thinks Timmy cries because Timmy doesn't like him. We have spent time cuddling Jake, complimenting his gentle reactions, and explaining how scared Timmy is right now.
Today, Jake jumped at the chance to travel to his Grammy and Grampa's house with Uncle Mike and Joshua. This gave Jim and I more time to bond with Timmy who is adjusting to soooo many changes. I am confident that our family will eventually find harmony and peace (and more sleep!).
I am confident you will find peace, too, Linda. God knows it takes time and love, love and time (and a secret stash of wine for those reeeeeealy hard nights), eh? Hang in there--you've got SO much on your plate with balancing making sure both boys feel secure. Tough stuff. But you are capable! One day at a time, baby! XOXO!
ReplyDeleteGrace be with you, Linda! Hannah too struggled mightily with any attention we gave Sarah, who was four and a half at the time. At times Hannah was downright mean. We loved Hannah with all our heart and understood the impact of trauma and fear on her behavior, but it hurt us terribly to see her hurt Sarah. As you know, the less reactive we are in responding to the poor behavior of children, the better. It will help to set gentle boundaries, to give them breathing space when they need it, and to invest in good solid parent-to-child "dates" on a daily basis. It gets a little trickier when one child is clingy and refuses to "make way" for the other child. That takes a lot of wisdom and strength! I will continue to pray.
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