Lots of Tough Goodbyes

The cake from the party at school.

Jake saying goodbye to Rachel, my Administrative Assistant

This is even harder than I imagined. Funny how conflicting feelings vie for front row and leave me exhausted. While excited to move to MA and start a new adventure with Jim and the boys, we realize all that we are leaving behind. For me - I came to Lancaster County as an 18 year old college student and I have lived here ever since. My student teaching experience in college paired me with Linda Depro, my dear friend and mentor from Pequea Valley. We shared breakfast together last week and said a temporary goodbye (we plan to see each other again). These temporary goodbyes have gone on and on; each one paining my heart.

Before school ended the faculty and staff held a lovely goodbye party. Friends were invited to say goodbye to our head custodian (retiring), my administrative assistant (retiring), and me. It was a wonderful drop-in which included Jim and the boys. A few days later, I showed a video that I had prepared as a goodbye to them. I was truly blessed to work with such a caring and professional group of educators and support staff. We made an awesome team as represented by the reoccurring theme of geese flying in the V formation.

They put together several meaningful gifts that will touch my heart for the rest of my life. One was a huge album of sentiments from adults and students. The creativity and heart felt messages bring tears to my eyes each time I open it. They also created a beautiful sign using letters from school projects done under my leadership years at Salisbury. These gifts will remind me of the most meaningful aspects to leading - the relationships.

I learned that while our gains in achievement helped all of us feel proud and excited, the smallest connections made the biggest impact. Time and time again, I read in their cards how conversations, words of support, and recognition meant the most to them. They recalled situations that took me by surprise because of the seemingly insignificance. But, those times meant the most to them, and they wanted me to know that I had made a difference. How humbling and inspiring. May these remembrances serve me well as I create new relationships in MA. I will never forget my dear friends and colleagues.

Moving in 1 Week!

Here is why I have not updated this blog in a while. We are very, very busy getting ready for our move to MA in 1 week from today. More later....

Jake's First Race

Lining up for the 1 mile fun run (Red Rose Run)

His running/skip

Jake, Timmy and I walked down to the Red Rose Run to support Uncle Mike. When I saw Jake running to get there, I asked him if he wanted to participate. He did. So 5 minutes after Mike's start, Jake lined up for the 1 mile fun run. He wasn't too sure of this new experience. As older children passed him on the first hill, I heard him start to cry. Luckily, I was running behind him with Tim in the stroller. We caught up and encouraged him to finish. At the 1/2 mile he started skipping and finished the race with a combination of running and skipping. He was proud of himself, but disappointed that he didn't get a gold medal. :) I hope this is the start of a lifetime interest in running. Uncle Mike and I have shared that interest over the years.

My Baby is Growing Up

Jake Melkamu 2 years old in Ethiopia





Jake 3 years 10 months

Jake is really sprouting up lately. He is losing his baby face and looking more and more like a little boy. He moved from a size 2 to a size 3, where he stayed for almost a year, and now he is a solid size 4. His feet grew larger in the last month. He is full of action and very, very coordinated and sports minded. He is Babas right hand man and LOVES playing physically with him. Don't they have the same ornery smile. I have to grab Jake for hugs or wait until he is almost asleep for snuggling. His joy for action and life brings lots of smiles to our family.

Timmy's Development

A couple of weeks ago, Jim and I took Timmy to our intermediate unit which provides early intervention services. They spent an hour and a half testing his physical and academic development. They even brought in an interpreter to eliminate the issue of language difficulties while asking him to perform tasks. Interestingly, he seemed to prefer English vs his native Mandarin. He turned away from the Chinese interpreter when she tried to help him. It took a while for him to warm up and it still seemed that he understood all of the directions in English.
     The outcome of all of the assessments led them to conclude that he is right on target if not ahead; especially when you consider his adjustments to a whole new culture. We enjoyed watching him laugh and strive hard to please the room full of women doing the assessment. He was quite charming.
     There is no guarantee that a birth child or adopted child will develop on the given timeline. We were prepared to help Timmy in any needed way. It did come as a relief that for now we will focus on his bladder issues and enjoy watching him develop without early intervention services.
     The past 2 1/2 months have been amazing. Timmy's sweet and feisty personality has blessed our lives. He is learning English so quickly. The other morning he was looking at a book with flaps. He clearly said, "Look in here, mommy!" as he opened each one up. The list of words and phrases grows longer each day. I am sure that playing with his big brother Jake has helped speed up the process.

Mother's Day



Enjoying family time in Aunt Dianne and Uncle Chuck's hottub/pool.

 This was my second Mother's Day and my first one as a mother to two boys. I find myself short on time to reflect and less time to write about my reflections. Life is really BUSY; especially right now. When I reflect, I think of how quickly our family has grown. It takes both Jim and me to keep our family moving in a positive direction. The adjustments have not been easy. But, just when we lose our patience or wonder if there is peace in sight, we watch our two boys love each other. One such moment came as we ate dinner at an outside cafe in DC on Mother's Day. Towards the end of our meal, Jake took Timmy's fork and gently began to feed his brother; using kind words to encourage Timmy to eat more. It was a sweet example of Jake's care for his brother. Another example from Mother's Day came from our time in the Air and Space Museum. Both boys picked out a small model airplane. While their Baba paid for the planes, I took the boys into a lobby. They posed for a picture where Timmy looked at his brother in an adoring way. We often watch him follow Jake's lead with excitement.
     I am a grateful mother of two amazing boys. Their first mothers cared enough to try and give them access to better health care, more food, a better education, and more opportunities. What a selfless act of love to hand your child over to an uncertain future. Now that they are in my life, I cannot imagine the sacrifice. There is a tremendous responsibility for us to give them all that their parents hoped for them while maintaining their connection to their heritage. I pray for strength and guidance.

Timmy Birthday and Easter

Timmy and his Thomas cake!

Joshua, Jake and Timmy in their Easter suits

A Family of Four

We enjoyed a busy Easter weekend. It started with Timmy's 3rd birthday on Saturday. We celebrated with Uncle Mike and Aunt Bernadette and Joshua. They brought over cupcakes and pizza. Timmy learned to open gifts with the help of his brother and cousin. Joshua gave him a Thomas train set and Jake gave him a hockey stick. All of the boys had fun playing together.

The next day was Easter and we hosted my family. I wanted a photo shoot before church and Mike helped out. The boys looked so cute in their matching suits. They seemed to like being dressed up and getting so much attention. Then, we all went to church together.

After the service, we had a few hours until my family arrived. I had prepared potatoes and ham and purchased a Thomas cake. Everyone helped out with the rest of the meal. Our house filled up with laughter and love. Timmy enjoyed another birthday celebration.

We will miss our family when we move. We also missed sharing the day with any of Jim's family. This holiday hosting may be the last one for some time. That put a slight sadness into the otherwise wonderful weekend.

A Busy, Busy Spring

Here is an update on some things going on lately. Last weekend I flew up to MA to spend the day at Hildreth Elementary School. The staff held a welcome reception which was really touching. The day went quickly. That evening I read letters written to me by the students. They wanted me to know all types of special things about Harvard. I smiled as I read their thoughts and opinions.

The next day I looked at real estate in the area. Since Jim had stayed home with the boys, I took pictures and videos to show him the possibilities. We will need to go back up soon to make some decisions.

Meanwhile, Timmy has settled in more each week. He is speaking more English words all the time. Some of his early sayings are:  careful mommy, flower, apple juice, how are you?, one, two, three, Go!, uh oh, oh no!, and Joshua. He hasn't said Jake's name but calls him Jia, Jia.

This weekend, Timmy will turn 3. I am trying to talk with Jake ahead of time to help him to know that this will be Timmy's special day and he can help. I am going to take him shopping to buy a present for his brother. So far, he has commented about how much Timmy would like monster trucks, an Iron Man suit, and other toys that clearly appeal to Jake. :)  He is a smartie.

Tough Medical News

This past Wednesday, Jim and I took Timmy to the Children's Hospital in Philadelphia for a full review of his Spina Bifida. He was a real trooper and barely cried at all. He seemed to like having Baba and me to himself all day (Jake was with Uncle Mike and then in school). The tough news came from the urologist that did a study of Timmy's bladder. The nerve damage shows that Timmy does not have great control over his bladder and bowels. We will have to soon start a regiment of helping through catheterizing and high fiber. There is no surgery to correct this at this time. Surgeries to reroute nerves are still under review.

tired out on the way home

     The good news is that Timmy's lower leg and foot muscles seem barely affected or normal. He is able to run and jump and climb like other two year olds. While I am grateful for the good news, I am sad for how his life will be affected by the nerve damage. We have a lot to learn in the next months and years of his life. We want to give him every advantage possible.

Meeting Grammy and Grandpa

 Timmy met my parents and my sister and her family for the first time today. The meeting was special. My brother Mike and I took the three boys down to their house, and then we all went out to eat at a Chinese restaurant. Later, we spent time visiting and keeping track of the boys. They were a bit wild and wound up, but everyone had a nice visit. Timmy agreed to take pictures with them before we headed home. The next time we get together will be for Easter at our house in Lancaster. We will celebrate Timmy's 3rd birthday at the same time.