A Hard Truth

Jake loves Spiderman

It must always be difficult for parents to admit that their child is tough to raise. I sympathize with all parents who struggle to meet the complex needs of their children. Jim and I admit that Jake is hard to parent (while he is charming too). Last night, I read the book I created from my blog posts of his first year with us. It was somewhat reassuring to see that he has never been easy. Right from month one, he tested boundaries and challenged us as the new adults in his life. His strong will continues. He pushes boundaries, and he can be defiant and disrespectful. We struggle with setting boundaries while helping him to know that he is loved and accepted.

He also melts down at times which shows that he is vulnerable and wounded. We love him dearly and want to help him to develop into a happy young person. Our next step in parenting is to seek professional help from those more familiar with issues related to abandonment and adoption.

Brotherly Love

Brotherly Love; August 2011

Jake and Timmy are becoming best friends. I love to listen to them talking to each other, and seeing their random acts of love. Recently, after getting their hair cuts, they hugged each other in the salon afterwards. When Timmy was sick in the car, Jake reached out to hold his hand and asked if he was ok. Just today when they were both napping on our bed, Timmy woke up first and leaned over and kissed Jake. Their getting along far outweighs their skirmishes. I am grateful that they have each other.

A Painful Reality

Mike with Jake at the Red Rose Race in June 2011

My brother Mike has been my best friend all of my life. Just one year apart, we shared a room and bunk beds as kids. We were called "the little ones" in my Dad's bedtime prayers. Through the years we shared innocent childhoods, crazy teenage years, and then we reconnected when Mike moved to Lancaster to attend Millersville University. We shared conversations and milestones that were heartbreaking and joyful. For the past 4 years, we ended up only blocks away from each other. We shared lots of similar interests such as running, skiing, education, reading and our children.

 As we waited to adopt our two boys, we loved spending time with his son, Joshua. Then after coming home, Jake, Timmy and Joshua shared many play dates. One of the sad parts of moving hundreds of miles north, is the distance this puts between Mike and me and our families. Luckily we have phone calls, Skype, and visits to keep us connected. But, I miss the impromptu visits and weekly face to face connections.