A Day at the Beach (Jim's words)

Here is Jim's reflection on our day at the MA beach:

Wingaersheek Beach

by James S. Dwight on Saturday, July 16, 2011 at 6:41pm

An incredible day at the beach, Wingaersheek to be precise, near Gloucester, MA. The water was just chilly enough to make that first total immersion something sublime, on the edge of agony and ecstasy. The water was shallow due to massive sandbars, so the boys could enjoy going out pretty far. Granite boulders flung into the ocean were perfect for escaping the water, jumping off, exploring, and generally goofing around. The sand was pristine white, but next to some truly wondrous salt marshes. The marina was close enough to see fishing, motor, and sail boats, but not so close to be loud and cause many wakes. I pointed out lighthouses, drawbridges, and sailboats to my sons with that electric sensation of seeing them through their eyes. The air was just warm enough to want a dip now and then, but the breeze made the air temp perfect for reading a book. After swimming and sandcastle building, we headed into Gloucester for an incredible Italian gourmet meal. The staff welcomed the boys, not shunning 2 three year olds that a snobby place would. Linda and I shared some Sam Adams Summer Ales -- so tasty, while the boys slurred on Sunkist orange sodas. Afterwards, we headed out the quaint fishing village turned haute couture tourist seafood spot for a couple gelatos: hazelnut and coffee. Of course, the sugar junkies stole the ice cream from the adults, but we had our coffees to help us enjoy the sleepy late afternoon vibe on a narrow, twisty town lane. The boys waved hi to a little girl in a window with that childhood innocence that doesn't know that such friendly behavior may be construed as impolite. And the drive back to the mountains only took an hour. As I write, I have to narrow my eyes as the setting sun casts its acute rays through the woods behind my house, casting shadows through the boys playset. An incredible day; I am truly blessed.

Birthday Excitement

Grammy and Grandpa sent Jake a package with a Spiderman theme. He LOVED it. He has been looking forward to his 4th birthday for a while. His list of requested gifts is long enough for us to need a small loan. We are trying to teach him to wait for things that he wants. Next, we have to teach him that there is a reasonable limit to the cost of the items. His official birthday is on the 19th.

Birthdays are a good time to reflect on the past year and a half together. We are so blessed to be his parents. He is FULL of life and adventure. We have our hands full with trying to ensure that he listens and shows respect while showing him lots of love and acceptance.

He brings lots of joy to our family through his antics. Some of the latest include climbing door frames to the top with is feet on either side, posing for pictures like a pro, and saying "that's cool, huh?" to his brother as he demonstrates daring jumps or new tricks. He loves anything electronic and plays Wii games and iPhone games easily and often.

Jake likes to ask questions. He has started to ask more about his adoption. Recently, I overheard him talking to his Ababa about the fact that their skin doesn't match. Jim lovingly explained the reason to him. We keep the adoption dialogue open and have pictures of his first family in his room. We hope to connect with other adoptive families to provide other examples of mixed race families. As Jake grows, we hope to provide the love and structure he needs to find his own identity and place in this complicated world.

Simple Pleasures in Life

Timmy and Jake on their new playset.

Grandpa saying grace with his grandsons.

Where to start?

So much has happened in the last few weeks. The biggest news is that we have moved into our new house in Massachusetts. The boys are adjusting well and love their new room and the playset in the yard. We are busy unpacking boxes and determining where to put the furniture. The process has been fun and exhausting.
We were fortunate to have some of our family travel up the first weekend. Bernadette organized the kitchen, while Grandpa put together Timmy's bed. Mike helped load a truck with more boxes from PA and brought them up. Joshua played with Jake and Timmy. It was wonderful to have them all here to celebrate with us.
I started my new job and everyone has been so welcoming and friendly. I am meeting many people and starting to prepare for the upcoming school year. Meanwhile, Jim has an interview to adjunct at a local collage. We are excited to begin this part of our journey.

Lots of Tough Goodbyes

The cake from the party at school.

Jake saying goodbye to Rachel, my Administrative Assistant

This is even harder than I imagined. Funny how conflicting feelings vie for front row and leave me exhausted. While excited to move to MA and start a new adventure with Jim and the boys, we realize all that we are leaving behind. For me - I came to Lancaster County as an 18 year old college student and I have lived here ever since. My student teaching experience in college paired me with Linda Depro, my dear friend and mentor from Pequea Valley. We shared breakfast together last week and said a temporary goodbye (we plan to see each other again). These temporary goodbyes have gone on and on; each one paining my heart.

Before school ended the faculty and staff held a lovely goodbye party. Friends were invited to say goodbye to our head custodian (retiring), my administrative assistant (retiring), and me. It was a wonderful drop-in which included Jim and the boys. A few days later, I showed a video that I had prepared as a goodbye to them. I was truly blessed to work with such a caring and professional group of educators and support staff. We made an awesome team as represented by the reoccurring theme of geese flying in the V formation.

They put together several meaningful gifts that will touch my heart for the rest of my life. One was a huge album of sentiments from adults and students. The creativity and heart felt messages bring tears to my eyes each time I open it. They also created a beautiful sign using letters from school projects done under my leadership years at Salisbury. These gifts will remind me of the most meaningful aspects to leading - the relationships.

I learned that while our gains in achievement helped all of us feel proud and excited, the smallest connections made the biggest impact. Time and time again, I read in their cards how conversations, words of support, and recognition meant the most to them. They recalled situations that took me by surprise because of the seemingly insignificance. But, those times meant the most to them, and they wanted me to know that I had made a difference. How humbling and inspiring. May these remembrances serve me well as I create new relationships in MA. I will never forget my dear friends and colleagues.

Moving in 1 Week!

Here is why I have not updated this blog in a while. We are very, very busy getting ready for our move to MA in 1 week from today. More later....

Jake's First Race

Lining up for the 1 mile fun run (Red Rose Run)

His running/skip

Jake, Timmy and I walked down to the Red Rose Run to support Uncle Mike. When I saw Jake running to get there, I asked him if he wanted to participate. He did. So 5 minutes after Mike's start, Jake lined up for the 1 mile fun run. He wasn't too sure of this new experience. As older children passed him on the first hill, I heard him start to cry. Luckily, I was running behind him with Tim in the stroller. We caught up and encouraged him to finish. At the 1/2 mile he started skipping and finished the race with a combination of running and skipping. He was proud of himself, but disappointed that he didn't get a gold medal. :) I hope this is the start of a lifetime interest in running. Uncle Mike and I have shared that interest over the years.

My Baby is Growing Up

Jake Melkamu 2 years old in Ethiopia





Jake 3 years 10 months

Jake is really sprouting up lately. He is losing his baby face and looking more and more like a little boy. He moved from a size 2 to a size 3, where he stayed for almost a year, and now he is a solid size 4. His feet grew larger in the last month. He is full of action and very, very coordinated and sports minded. He is Babas right hand man and LOVES playing physically with him. Don't they have the same ornery smile. I have to grab Jake for hugs or wait until he is almost asleep for snuggling. His joy for action and life brings lots of smiles to our family.

Timmy's Development

A couple of weeks ago, Jim and I took Timmy to our intermediate unit which provides early intervention services. They spent an hour and a half testing his physical and academic development. They even brought in an interpreter to eliminate the issue of language difficulties while asking him to perform tasks. Interestingly, he seemed to prefer English vs his native Mandarin. He turned away from the Chinese interpreter when she tried to help him. It took a while for him to warm up and it still seemed that he understood all of the directions in English.
     The outcome of all of the assessments led them to conclude that he is right on target if not ahead; especially when you consider his adjustments to a whole new culture. We enjoyed watching him laugh and strive hard to please the room full of women doing the assessment. He was quite charming.
     There is no guarantee that a birth child or adopted child will develop on the given timeline. We were prepared to help Timmy in any needed way. It did come as a relief that for now we will focus on his bladder issues and enjoy watching him develop without early intervention services.
     The past 2 1/2 months have been amazing. Timmy's sweet and feisty personality has blessed our lives. He is learning English so quickly. The other morning he was looking at a book with flaps. He clearly said, "Look in here, mommy!" as he opened each one up. The list of words and phrases grows longer each day. I am sure that playing with his big brother Jake has helped speed up the process.

Mother's Day



Enjoying family time in Aunt Dianne and Uncle Chuck's hottub/pool.

 This was my second Mother's Day and my first one as a mother to two boys. I find myself short on time to reflect and less time to write about my reflections. Life is really BUSY; especially right now. When I reflect, I think of how quickly our family has grown. It takes both Jim and me to keep our family moving in a positive direction. The adjustments have not been easy. But, just when we lose our patience or wonder if there is peace in sight, we watch our two boys love each other. One such moment came as we ate dinner at an outside cafe in DC on Mother's Day. Towards the end of our meal, Jake took Timmy's fork and gently began to feed his brother; using kind words to encourage Timmy to eat more. It was a sweet example of Jake's care for his brother. Another example from Mother's Day came from our time in the Air and Space Museum. Both boys picked out a small model airplane. While their Baba paid for the planes, I took the boys into a lobby. They posed for a picture where Timmy looked at his brother in an adoring way. We often watch him follow Jake's lead with excitement.
     I am a grateful mother of two amazing boys. Their first mothers cared enough to try and give them access to better health care, more food, a better education, and more opportunities. What a selfless act of love to hand your child over to an uncertain future. Now that they are in my life, I cannot imagine the sacrifice. There is a tremendous responsibility for us to give them all that their parents hoped for them while maintaining their connection to their heritage. I pray for strength and guidance.