Today was the day that Timmy was sworn in as a US citizen. Well, the parents actually take the oath for their children. We are not able to take cameras into the US consulate building, so I do not have it documented on film. But, Timmy wore a traditional Chinese shirt and jeans.

Later in the day, the families gathered for a traditional red couch picture. The children wear traditional outfits for the picture, and then wonder why they are being tortured with a hundred flashing cameras. (see their faces) Some of the group members are starting for home, so this is the last formal event.

Another milestone today with Timmy; he has started calling me Mama. I learned a few days ago that he was calling me his nanny in Chinese. This made me sad, as it showed the level of his confusion. We are not out of the confusing times for him, as he continues to wake up from his naps and cry for a while. He has also been crying out in his sleep at night. Only time and comfort will see him through.

As the days go on, home seems closer and closer!

In 5 days we will travel home. I am ready to see the rest of my family!

Timmy is having a very good day. We opted out of the tour to a Buddhist Temple and arts center. Instead we took a long walk with another CCAI family. Timmy liked running ahead and checking back to see if I was nearby. This is a big step from needing me to hold him all the time. He HATES the stroller, so when he is tired of walking, I still have to carry him. I thought a stroller would be perfect, and the stores all around the White Swan loan them out to adoptive families for the week; in hopes that you will shop in their store. So, I have a great toddler stroller and he screams every time I try to sit him in it.

I am learning about his sense of humor. He has a wicked, silly grin and a great giggle. We play games of hide and seek and tickling in the room and he lets out some great laughs. His first English words have been “oh no” in response to games on the iphone. He also says uh oh and he is repeating the English names of animals on the app. Peek A Boo Barn.

He still cries deeply at times; especially when he awakes from his nap. The pain of his separation from his foster family will take a long time to heal. Meanwhile, I got my first kiss from him this morning. The sweet trust of this boy is such an incredible gift. We are blessed!

March 5, 2011 (Linda's post from Saturday)

Timmy is full of surprises. Instead of being scared at the airport, he was excited about the airplanes. I thought his Grandpa would have enjoyed his excitement about flying (Grampa Schmelder is a pilot). Timmy’s excitement continued as he ran down the entry way and onto the plane. After takeoff he fell asleep for most of the two hour flight.

He seems to have settled some things in his mind and therefore he is happier and becoming more independent. This morning we all had to walk to the medical clinic. Timmy did well in the very crowded room with lots of children crying. This is apparently the one clinic that has to see every child being adopted from China. There were families from all over using lots of different agencies.

That is a change with this final hotel stay. There are many adoptive families staying here. The hotel, named the White Swan, has been used by adoptive families since China opened for international adoptions in 1992. The rooms are clean and comfortable and mine looks out over the Pearl River. I am looking forward to exploring this small island with Timmy as we enjoy the 75 degree weather.

Day 4

Last night Timmy slept better with only a little whimpering every once in a while. Since the first night, he continues to grind his teeth. I expect this comes from his nervousness about all of the changes. I hadn’t known that a toddler might react to stress in this way.

Unfortunately more change is on the way. While he naps I am going to pack up our things for today’s flight to southern China. I practiced wearing the sling because he wants to be held so much in new situations. The sling will help to save my back in the airport. I used it with Jake too when we first picked him up.

He is happier today and he is being more ornery (which I welcome!). While I was in the shower he pulled a snickers bar out of the room refrigerator. Also, he has been throwing things and watching my reaction. For now, I am taking it as a game and laughing with him. Later there will be time for setting boundaries. I did say “no” in Chinese when he went to dump the bubble solution on the floor. Another good sign is that he is eating more. Beside junk food, which he is a fan of, he ate dumplings and noodles for lunch.

Let’s hope all of the children in our group make the transition to the next hotel as smoothly as possible.

Tough Day

Roughest day yet. Timmy is starting to realize that he isn’t going back to his foster family. He has cried deep, soul wrenching sobs several times today and throughout the past night. All I can do is hold him through it. In between we have some smiles, but mostly he is sad, sad, sad. I learned that he spent the last two years with his foster family. He believes they are his family and he does not understand that he cannot stay with them by law. The grief is a necessary step, but really hard. Several of the adoptive families are struggling today because the children have down time and they are beginning to understand that this change isn’t temporary.

Quiet Day

Today was a day for relaxing with no appointments. There were some optional tours, but I thought it best to stay here for the day. Timmy is the most comfortable in our room. In fact he smiles when he sees the door. He has started to become more curious. He LOVES taking pictures with the camera. And, he has hit every button in the hotel room. He is also learning to play the toddler games on the iPhone J.

Last night he snuggled in to me for the first time. I think he knows that I am here to take care of him. As the CCAI founder said, at first they will consider you the best Nanny they ever had. I might just be reaching that point with him.

Timmy woke up feeling better. He has not had a fever all day. I am giving him medicine just as a precaution. He napped for about an hour and now he is putting stickers onto foam (thanks, LeeAnn). We were finally able to Skype with Jim and Jake. Timmy seemed to enjoy seeing them, and showed this with some cute smiles. He recognizes them from the album that I sent over before I traveled. He said the word for brother when Jake spoke to him. He also said Baba when he saw Jim. How heartwarming!

In about an hour we are going to a local Walmart for supplies. There are several things that I didn’t think to pack that I plan to pick up. One of the items is a sippy cup. Timmy is delayed with his eating and drinking skills. This may be from group living where he may not have had a lot of experience with different foods. From the pictures of his foster family, I don’t think he was with them more than a year. That means that his first 2 years may have been spent in the orphanage. He is tentative about trying new things. I am sure part of that is his very new transition to me. It is fun to watch his baby steps towards trust. Today he wanted to sit on my lap and raised his arms for me to pick him up.

Day 1 - Part Two

This day deserves two posts. As it goes with adoption – there are ups and downs. We went from a great first meeting to a tough day. Timmy has been sick with a 102.9 degree temperature, and he threw up all over me and himself during a meeting. The CCAI representatives went with me to the hotel clinic and later picked up prescription drugs. They want him to take them to prevent him from getting any worse before traveling. Right now he is sleeping, so I am hoping that after a full night’s sleep we are both feeling better.

The travel group has been great. There is a small group of us that helps each other out. They have stepped in to provide medicine, food, and lots of moral support during this first day. I really appreciate their help and friendship.

Our Son!

I now have our son! He is resting in the bed while I type. He is very quiet and shy. The morning was an amazing experience. We arrived at the office and before we even had time to set our things down, a van pulled up with our children inside. My first sight of him was from the office window as he walked towards the building with the nannies holding his hand. He was bundled up with the many layers that they use against the cold.

He did not hesitate to come to me and let me hold him, although his eyes showed some apprehension. He watched everything going on around him. I took out some toys and he smiled. He also drank two milk boxes and ate some crackers. His favorite toys were the bubbles and balloons. These became favorite toys of the whole group. At some point I noticed that he had on the pants and sneakers that I had sent him. It was an active room with three families meeting their children and two other little girls being adopted.

We were there for quite a while signing papers, giving our gifts to the orphanage, and playing with the children. I gave them the bags of bibs for the babies. We then loaded the bus and traveled back to the orphanage. Timmy was excited about the snow and looked out the window, while holding onto the balloon. He was talking to me and when I asked our representative what he was saying, she said that he wanted his foster mom. L When we were almost to the hotel, he fell asleep in my arms. This didn’t last once we arrived, as he woke up while I was carrying him.

We are supposed to keep them on their home schedule which means he should be napping. So, I changed his diaper after taking off his many layers of clothing. Then, I laid him on the bed where he is playing with matchbox cars, looking through the pictures I brought and laying very quietly. I laid with him for a while, and he would shyly look over at me every once in a while. Now, I am sitting at the desk, trying to give him some space so that he might fall asleep. It just became quieter, so he may be falling asleep. Not yet, but hopefully soon.

While he rested I looked through a bag of things they handed to me. Inside I found many of the items I sent to him, including unopened toys. The best thing that I found was a picture book of Timmy with his foster family. I can tell that he was well loved. There are about 20 pictures of him with his mama, baba, and brother and sister. They are laughing and smiling in each picture. The representative suggests that I wait several weeks or months before showing him this album, as he will likely become upset and want to find them.

Adoption is so hard. I hate to take him from this loving family, but they are unable to keep him as a son. They already have children, so Timmy’s time with them would be limited. Unfortunately, he does not understand this. The days ahead will include his grief about losing them. For now, I feel blessed that our first meeting included some smiles and laughter from this little boy who is now a part of my life forever.

It's almost time.

February 27, 2011

Our anticipation grows with each passing hour. We flew to their province today and received new updates on our children. Here are some quotes from the update on Timmy which was completed by his foster family.

· He can walk and run well.

· He is a little introverted and gets along well with others.

· He is very active and naughty when he stays with familiar people.

· He has a strong temper.

· He likes to sleep with a small handkerchief.

It looks like we are in for some toddler fun! I am really looking forward to introducing the boys to each other and watching their personalities develop over time. They will also have fun with their cousin Joshua. The three boys will hopefully form a tight bond.

Our group enjoyed time together today. We are building friendships that I hope will continue into the future.