A Glorious Rainy Train Ride

We took Jake on the Strasburg railroad and we were caught in a storm. We saw the lightening off in the distance and felt the rain through the open windows. He didn't mind at all. In fact, I think the whole experience was enhanced by the rainstorm. His eyes grew really big when the "ghost" train whistle blew and echoed off the surrounding hills. This ride rounded out the celebration of his third birthday.

A Book of Memories

Recently, I worked on a hard copy book of this blog history. Someday I will share it with Jake as a record of our first six months together. The on-line company was Book Smart and the process was really easy. For about $35 (counting shipping) we will have a hard copy including the colored pictures. I wanted to get this information out to others who may want to do the same thing for their story.

Jake's Birthday

Jake turns 3 tomorrow, but we celebrated today. He seemed to really enjoy his special day. We bought him a red bike yesterday for his birthday and today he woke up and asked to ride it right away. We were actually outside so that he could ride around 6:30. I think that earns me some type of mother award. :) The rest of the day included church where he fell asleep and snored during the service, getting ready for the party, and a wonderful "pool" party with friends. Jim and Uncle Mike even made water balloons which were a big hit with the kids. It was such a joy to share this birthday together with him. It is the first of many more to come.

Reflection on a Year Ago

Last July was when we learned that Melkamu Tamene would become our son. He was just under two years old and all we had were two pictures of him and some of his background. We studied his picture and rejoiced about the news, while also acknowledging the tough reasons which were creating our family. We knew that he was confused and scared at all of his life changes.

This weekend we will celebrate his third birthday. So much has happened to seal us as family members forever. He brings so much joy into our lives.

Sharing Pictures

Last weekend Jim and I finally shared pictures of Jake's birth family with him. We waited until we had a quiet day at home, in case he needed more comfort or space afterwards. We really didn't know how he would react. Would he remember and be sad? Would he be angry? Would he become withdrawn or act out? It was nearly a year ago when he was brought to the care center by his family. Without getting into too much detail about the family he lost, there were pictures of about 5 family members.

Well, we all sat down on the couch and Jim and I started in halting voices to share some of the details and pictures. I had rehearsed the details in toddler terms, hoping he would get the gist of our conversation. The pictures were in an album for him. He thanked me for the album and seemed to take the information seriously. He didn't share much. His strongest reaction was to a picture of his birth home.

When we showed him a picture of his birth home, he quickly jumped up and started to pretend cry and point to his scars on his leg. We know that while he lived with his birth family he was burned in a cooking fire. We were told that he grabbed some sticks out of the fire and they landed on his legs. His scars are significant on his upper thighs. From his reaction, we assume that the fire was close to his house. Obviously this early trauma stuck in his memory. So far we do not see any fear of fire based on his burns.

The people pictures did not seem to have the same effect. He looked at the album several times. There were pictures of him in the care center and he seemed to look the most at those. Now that we have shown him the pictures we will keep them available and accessible. We will honor his first family at holiday and in our everyday conversations and remembrances. I feel relieved that we took this first step to making our family comfortable with the conversations related to his life story.

In reflection, the experience of adoption is soooo much more complicated than I anticipated. The joy of growing our family is matched with the pain of separating family members from each other. There are no easy answers in life.